As I prepare to leave this place that has been my home, my beginning for so long, I grasp at reasons why I made the right decision to leave. Coming to a new place forces you to decide, will I conform or will I be different? Is it inevitable that something of the place wears off on you, oftentimes it is the undesirable characteristics of a place that "wear off".
New Yorkers tend towards characteristic power competitions. These competitions can occur: in a supermarket, on the bus, at the post office! It is our desire to interact with one another, to engage in an exchange of emotion, to share our lives. Unfortunately what is so often exchanged is merely the expression of our frustration with allienation. [Alien nation - I just got that.] we are angry that we are not being given the recognition we deserve. We are angry with the lack of respect for ou position in this society. A society that tells us we are nothing unless we achive something: fame, money, possessions, success!
So, instead of giving each other a smile or a hug, we exchange an angry word: yelling, swearing and humbling each other. Like the talk show host where the studio audience points fingers; reality shows when the bad guy is kicked off the show; or a game show where the loser is covered in dirt we want others to know that we are more important and worthy!
I find that of the cities I have lived in New York allows for the most interaction of this type. However, we need to recognize the deeper need of each person with whom we engage. The people that are most angry on the outside have the greatest need for love and compassion.
Moving to a new place I become nervous to be honest about who I am. I am a compassionate, gentle person in need of friendship and love. I become a beginner: new to the ways and customs. Everything is unknown and unsure. This time let me be honest with who I am. Let me embrace the insecurity of a newbe, because I have the greatest potential for growth, learning and change; when I am there at the beginning.
